All right so I logged back in just to check if I forgot to save any deviations to my PC for safe keeping when I came upon a bunch of questions about why I am leaving what my situation was and etc. So I decided I would make this journal to clear up all the confusion.

First off, I am certainly not leaving forever, I guarantee that for sure, second I left/am leaving for two reasons.

One, most of you don't know this, in fact only my family and Chris actually know this, but, next year my Dad is retiring from 30 years of service in the United States Military, after this we plan on moving, and after we move we plan on purchasing an RV and touring the country for an ENTIRE YEAR. We have been very secretive about it by not letting anyone but those who we trust know, but I feel it is time to get it out there so people will not think I am leaving for good.

Second, I realized after countless months that I only made this account to fit in with everyone I was friends with at Westbrook, I was just trying to make myself acceptable to you guys because I used to feel like I had to prove myself to my friends. I decided just a month ago that come a month into summer I would close this account for approximately a year, I just didn't plan on getting back into church and joining a youth group, so my situation changed and this account may stay closed for even more than two years.

I have decided I want to distance myself from people so I don't get back into a friendship with my old IRL friends just to have to stop the friendship dead in its tracks within a year. I made this decision so I wouldn't' have to go through with somethign like that again. Because you see in Oklahoma it was the other way around, about a five months before we moved here I found out my BEST and I mean my BEEEEEEEEEST friends were moving to Florida, I was completely devastated, my self esteem lowered, I started caring less and less about everything, I gave up on any chance of having friends like them again, and I certainly didn't want to make new friends.

So I decided even at Westbrook I would try and distance myself from people so I wouldn't get into a friendship just for it too end, because with my Dad being in the Military you NEVER know where they are going to assign you. That was... until I met Whitney, Becca, Alex, Carlos, and Austin you guys were the best friends I could have had at a time like that, and yet I hid every single detail about it away from you, I felt bad about keeping it from you but still didn't want to tell you.

Another thing..... my Dad has gotten orders that last only up until September of this year, once they are over he will go under review by the board in Austin or Dallas, and IF they deem him physically unfit (Which he is) for the US Military they will FORCE him right then at that exact moment to retire, not even giving a warning. This was one of our worst fears about him injuring his back, and sadly it happened. Lately I have been so focused on my life situations that I couldn't care less about was going on with everyone I was and am friends with. HELL, I even hid it from Chris who at this current point in time is my best friend.

Chris knows we may be moving within the next year and he is fine with it, plus, he also knows about our plans to travel the country for an entire year. I am just now getting it out there for all of you to know. So now you know why I have been ignoring a lot of you

Oh another reason why I am/have closing this account is I can't draw anymore! Only reason why I could was I had motivation and I driving force when I was in public school, and now that I am home schooled I could care less about drawing. I have already decided I am going to be a professional graphics artist and have devoted a lot of my free time to improving. A few months ago, when my deviations (Wallpapers) started getting stolen *Points at 4chan* and were being removed by dA by the so called "MODS" (who should actually look at the art to see if it has violated copyright other than listening to tips by idiots) It was then that I really started asking myself "Why the hell am I here? What got me here? What was my driving force to join?" and then it hit me, but I won't go into more detail about that since I already did.

Also before anyone says any crap about how friendships last forever, or keep in touch, or anything like that, the truth is No friendships don't last forever, most of the time people move on and go to the next best thing, and no people do forget about old friends and I would too. Oh also the fact that "You never lose the ability to draw" Ummm yea right, I am a living example, that IF you lose your main muse/force that makes you want to draw then OBVIOUSLY you will gradually lose the talent, until you get to where I am.

So in short, I am leavign the past behind and looking ahead towards the future. For the past three years I have said "Live in the present, screw the past, and ignore the future because it'll come whether you like it or not." Well now I have realized that I just need to keep moving forward, making the changes necessary to accomplish all God has set out for me to accomplish, even if it means ending a friendship, closing accounts, or even leaving the internet I will do it. Because its not my will but its God's.

I have fully devoted myself to God, and church, and I rarely spend time on my PC, I am only awake now because I knew I needed to clear all this up so no one would be confused.

So to close, I am sorry if I may have discouraged, saddened, angered, frustrated you, or gone against your beliefs in anyway. Its just its my life and I want to live it the way I am supposed to and I have decided that I am going to put God and church first and everything else will come in second. I may sound crazy, but I don't expect anyone to understand.... its just I know what I have to do and need to get rid of any hindrances or distractions.

I have changed a lot in just the past three weeks, to name a few, I blocked 4chan and detest the use of that site, I have stopped illegally downloading music, along with stopped watching things I know I honestly shouldn't have in the first place. The old me is gone, and this is the new me, if you don't like it than I a humbly sorry but this is hwho I am and I wouldn't have it any other way.

So for the last, and possibly the final time, I will say.

Thank you for reading and commenting, be blessed, and have an absolutely wonderful summer!

Thanks, Paul~